A healthy and committed relationship can offer profound benefits, including emotional security, lower stress levels, and improved mental health.
“A committed relationship offers a great deal of stability,” marriage and family therapist Brittney Holmes Jackson, MFT shares with BrownStyle Magazine. “It offers safety and certainty as opposed to unpredictability.”
Navigating the complexities of commitment isn’t always easy, but with self-awareness, open communication, and intentional growth, it has been proven to be deeply rewarding.
Jackson explains, “Strong relationships are regularly associated with improved mental health and a decrease in symptoms of anxiety and depression. There are even studies that link healthy relationships to lower stress levels, which reduce the risk of chronic illnesses and promote longevity of life.”
According to the expert, strong and healthy relationships that are rooted in love, commitment, and trust ultimately model positive relational dynamics for children. “It increases the opportunity for generational wealth as it pertains to mental health, relational stability, and the promotion of the family lineage,” she notes.
Ahead, the marriage and family therapist answers our readers’ biggest questions about navigating a healthy relationship. Cheers to safe spaces and everlasting love!
Q: How can my partner and I maintain our individuality while fostering a strong, committed relationship?
Answer: The idea of losing oneself can feel overwhelming and result in avoiding significant relationships. However, this can be remedied by understanding that joining with another person does not inherently result in the loss of one’s independence.
To keep your individuality in a relationship, continue to pursue individual goals, prioritize your hobbies, establish career goals, and have healthy friendships outside of your romantic relationship.
Spend time apart, just as you spend time together. Schedule your “me time” just as you schedule the “we time.” Engage in self-care and establish a healthy habit of loving yourself. This helps you be aware of how someone else should love you.
Q: How do I keep the romance alive in my long-term relationship?
Answer: The “7-7-7 Rule” is always a great tool to have in any romantic relationship.
Every 7 days, plan an affordable mini-date. Every 7 weeks, take an overnight trip (staycations included). Every 7 months, take a mini vacay!
This rule can be modified to fit the needs or abilities of the couple. Every mini-date, day trip, and mini-vacation should be affordable and within your limits. The idea is that the time together increases your intimacy, which results in greater connection and commitment in the relationship.
If the 7-7-7 Rule seems out of your preview, simply take at least one intentional date night per month. This will help build your connection as a couple and increase dopamine levels in the brain, which results in greater intimacy with your partner.
Also, pay attention to your partner’s love language— whether quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, or gifts. Spontaneous gestures fuel your partner’s love tank and allow them to replenish yours.
Q: How can I overcome self-doubt and past relationship traumas to build healthy, committed partnerships?
Answer: Therapy is always going to be one of the best weapons against negative thought processes like self-doubt. Alongside therapy, utilizing tools like PETs (Positive Empowering Thoughts) versus ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) helps reframe negative thoughts with positive ones.
Due to your experiences, you may find yourself easily thinking negatively about yourself or your relationship. Retraining your brain by replacing the negative thoughts with a positive, empowering one that directly contrasts the innate thought can be beneficial.
This leads to uplifting yourself, identifying the actual truth, and counteracting feelings of unworthiness.
Also, build your support system! Having positive and affirming people around you can help you reinforce the belief that you can thrive in healthy relationships.
Q: How does self-love contribute to a fulfilling and committed relationship?
Answer: Practicing self-love allows you to set and maintain healthy boundaries, effectively communicate your needs, and engage in greater emotional intimacy. Understanding your worth makes it easier to communicate with others who desire to be in your life.
Q: How can my partner and I create a safe space for vulnerability and emotional intimacy?
Answer: Vulnerability is the key to building trust in relationships. Vulnerability is all about transparency, which means not hiding your thoughts, feelings, or desires for any given reason.
Creating a safe space starts with consistent communication, a nonjudgmental approach, and reflective listening. Try having intentional check-ins— I call them “family meetings“— to help create a safe space to discuss pivotal topics, concerns, and needs.
Date nights that focus on conversational activities like “I feel ___ when you ___” can also deepen connection and intimacy.
Q: How can my partner and I leverage our communities to support our relationship?
Answer: The idea of “keeping folks out of our business” is an old and, in some cases, outdated adage. Community is what helps healthy relationships thrive!
Whether it’s joining a support group for couples or seeking guidance from faith leaders, mentors who have achieved what you desire can help you navigate relationship roadblocks. It is well-studied that couples with strong support systems are almost half as likely to report relational satisfaction than those without it.
Navigating the complexities of commitment isn’t always easy, but with self-awareness, open communication, and intentional growth, it’s deeply rewarding.
As Jackson reminds us, “Loving yourself results in understanding your worth and having the ability to communicate that worth to others who desire to be in your life.”
Editor’s Note: This story has been edited and condensed for clarity.
By BrownStyle Magazine in Special Editions
72 pages, published 1/17/2025
