Let’s Talk About It… is BrownStyle Magazine’s new column written by Aikisha Holly Colon. In this candid series, the mom and multi-hyphenate entrepreneur creates a safe space to be real, raw, funny, heavy, but always honest.
Ladies… let’s be honest. December came in FAST this year. I don’t know about y’all, but it feels like I blinked and went from Summer sundresses to, “Lord, do these kids really need all these toys again?”
Meanwhile, the economy is acting like it skipped its morning devotions. Groceries high, gas high, and those credit card statements? Whew… Fix it, Jesus!
But every year, here we go, running around trying to prove our love with gifts! Big ones, expensive ones, “Instagrammable” ones.
As women, especially Black women, we carry the weight of the holidays on our backs like Santa with a wig on. And half the time, we’re not even enjoying the moments because we’re too busy trying not to overdraft. And don’t get me started on these wish lists. Kids are asking for iPads. Husbands asking for sex. All we want is peace and quiet!
So this month, let’s talk about gift-giving when you’re tired, grown, and on a REAL budget. Being thoughtful does not mean cheap. Personalized does not mean last-minute. And meaningful? Baby, meaningful will outlive any price tag.
The Gift of TIME (Free, but Priceless)
Let’s start with the most underrated flex: your time.
You know how many people would pass out if you said, “Girl, I’m coming over to help you organize that closet you’ve been crying about since April?” or “Let me take your kids for two hours so you can take a nap.” Listen. At this big age, we don’t want gifts. We want PEACE. Silence. A nap without being touched.
Time is a luxury item. Wrap it up and give it proudly.
DIY, But Make It Cute (Not Crusty)
Before you roll your eyes, because Lord knows I hate a DIY project, I’m not talking about that tired glitter-on-a-mason-jar mess. I’m talking about a real DIY that says, “I thought about you… AND I have taste.”
Here are some Aikisha Holly Colon-approved ideas that are grown, classy, and budget-friendly:
✨ A Personalized Beauty Basket
Want to make an affordable personalized beauty basket they love? Buy a basket and fill it with their favorite items like lip glosses, travel lotions, edge control (because that IS self-care), perfume, and wrap it in tissue paper that doesn’t scream Dollar Tree. You could even throw a pair of comfy pajamas in there (wink wink). Bamblu anyone?
✨ Homemade Sugar Scrubs
Brown sugar + coconut oil + a little vanilla. Sis, it’s luxury on a budget. Put it in a cute jar. Boom — spa day.
✨ A Framed Photo That Actually Means Something
Not you and them in the club. I mean a picture from a moment that mattered. You know we love nostalgia. It hits our spirit differently.
✨ Handwritten Letters
When is the last time somebody told you WHY they love you? Not a text. Not an emoji. A real letter. I’m telling you — tears. Straight tears.
Experience Gifts (Because We’re Tired of Things)
Everyone’s house is full. Nobody needs another candle (unless it’s the expensive one, which WE are not buying right now). Try this instead:
✨ A Home-Cooked Themed Dinner Night
Food is a love language in our community. Always has been. Invite your bestie over for Soul Food Sunday. Trust me. It’s a vibe!
✨ A Tea-And-Talk Date
Now, Sisters, you know we love a good sit-down-and-vent moment. Give your friend an hour of undivided attention. Judgment-free. Phone down. Tea hot.
✨ A Book-And-Convo Gift
Buy a book you love, highlight the parts that speak to you, and plan a night to talk about it together. That’s intimacy. That’s the connection. (I heard my book Faith and Fertility is a great conversation starter!)
The Most Important Gift? GRACE.
This has been a hard year for many of us. Inflation is inflating. Life is Life-ing. Mental loads are heavy. Bodies are tired. Faith is being stretched.
If you can’t show up with gifts, show up with grace. Your presence matters more than presents ever will. I remind myself and you that we’re not here to impress people. We’re here to love people.
And if anyone tries to drag you for not spending a small fortune this year? Tell them: “I’m giving what God gave me — heart, intention, and honesty. If that’s not enough, baby, you’re not my people.”
This season, don’t lose your peace trying to buy someone else’s approval. Give love. Give kindness. Give what’s real.
And let’s make a pact together as sisters: Next year, we’re starting early. (But we know we won’t. And that’s okay too. )
Editor’s Note: This story has been edited and condensed for clarity.
By BrownStyle Magazine in Special Editions
72 pages, published 1/17/2025
