Let’s get straight to the point…so you’re going through a breakup. What happens now?
Well, you may feel like your entire world has shattered. Or perhaps you may have begun to question yourself and your worth. Your feelings are valid, but I’m here to remind you to give yourself grace and confirm that there is light at the end of the heartbreak tunnel.
As someone who’s gone through some of the most random and hurtful breakups (I could write a book), allow me to share with you a few ways I’ve learned to bounce back from a breakup. I truly hope these tips help.
#1. Let Yourself Be Sad (It REALLY Is Okay)
It’s natural not to want to feel sad. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. But when a relationship ends, no matter who ended it, you lose a part of your life. Sometimes it feels like a “death.”
If you haven’t been dating long, the sad period probably will not last that long. For a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a long time. I say it takes half of the time you were in a relationship to really start feeling like you again.
It’s important, as painful as it is, to allow yourself to feel that way. The tendency is to avoid those feelings and try to move on to something that feels better, but being sad is a necessary step in the healing process.
Remember that surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can sit with these hurtful feelings, you’ll be better able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve moved on.
#2. Keep Busy
If you’re anything like me, when you sit “still” for too long, your mind starts racing like crazy. That will sometimes take you further down a path of heartbreak.
Yes, you have to deal with the sadness—not deny it or push it aside—but that doesn’t mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, you do that. But the next day, even if you feel that way again, push yourself do something else. Here are some ideas.
- ✨️ Start a list of positive things about yourself.
- ✨️ Laughter is great medicine. Think of at least one silly thing to laugh about to change your mindset.
- ✨️ Vitamin D will be your best friend, so go for a walk.
- ✨️ Try a new workout to get your body moving. Who knows? You might end up meeting a new circle of friends you didn’t have the chance to meet while you were with your ex.
- ✨️ Be around a circle of people who truly care about your well-being. Try going to a coffee shop with one of your friends to get out of the house. If you aren’t ready to meet in person, FaceTime/call one of your friends to talk out your feelings.
If you don’t feel like talking about your breakup with friends or family, I highly suggest a good therapist. Trust me, it is worth every penny. There are even free apps to help get you through the down days.
Keep in mind that no matter how active your activity might be, sad thoughts and memories may still creep in. This is normal.
#3. DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX!
I repeat…DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX. That gets you absolutely nowhere in your healing journey and can bring up old wounds of the past. It might put a bandage over a wound, BUT that bandage will get ripped off. And it will hurt.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I preach this so much that I created a clothing and accessories brand called Rejected Hearts Club to help wearers embrace their healing journey with an open heart. (Shameless plug!)
#4. It’s Time For A Glow Up
You’ve been in your PJs and loungewear for days. Now it’s time to get your confidence back!
Typically, when you see a girl change her hair, you KNOW she is about to level up one way or another. I’m not saying you have to go spend your entire paycheck on a new ‘do, but make a change that you feel good about. All the TikTok girlies are also promoting those seamless wigs, so snag one of those and take some selfies and smile.
It’s not just about the hair. Remember, you start getting your confidence back when you feel good about yourself.
#5. Practice Forgiveness
As much as this can be the HARDEST part, especially if you are the one who feels wronged, eventually forgiveness is what will heal your heart. This will take time, and as always, that’s okay.
Now, if your situation is more than a “typical” breakup due to things out of your control, please seek much-needed help and assistance.
Just know one day you’ll wake up and feel whole again. It may seem to happen suddenly, but one day you will wake up and be happy. Thoughts and memories of your ex, if you have them at all, will be ok to deal with.
You may still feel a little sadness that the relationship didn’t last, but you won’t be devastated anymore. This is the time you may want to consider dating again.
Please do not rush into this. Heal first so that you don’t bring any leftover baggage into your next relationship.
The process to mend a broken heart is pretty much the same for everyone. Dealing with a breakup can open doors to all sorts of self-improvement and self-love if only you’ll allow yourself to.
Let us know your story and how you healed.
Besitos!
Editor’s Note: This story has been edited and condensed for clarity.
By BrownStyle Magazine in Special Editions
72 pages, published 1/17/2025
