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Even when you make an intentional decision to live a soft life, you can sometimes find yourself swept back up into the chaos and turmoil of hustle culture. This especially holds true for bootstrapped entrepreneurs, like me, who often have to stay ahead of the curve and juggle countless tasks in a day.
Sometimes it’s not until life tells you to sit down that you find out the wisdom of living a softer lifestyle.
As I was rushed into the emergency room, I felt the world slow down.
After weeks of feeling extremely weak, short of breath, dizzy, and outright drained, I felt nervous about the possible diagnosis. I felt burnout while working in corporate America, but this… this was something totally different.
Simple tasks like walking from room to room became exhausting. Washing clothes felt like a huge project. Baths became preferred as showering became a chore due to feelings of dizziness. I lost my appetite.
In addition to not feeling like myself, my to-do list grew rapidly as I found myself falling behind in my daily workload, which is highly unlike me.
What happened to the soft life I intentionally set out to have? Was I doing something wrong?
Days Before Visiting The ER
As a healthy person, I thought it could simply be a lack of sleep causing me to feel exhausted. I reasoned that I had just come off months filled with strict deadlines and meetings, and I thought being busy was possibly the cause of my exhaustion. (As they say, the early years of business are always the hardest.)
I pushed through, and I coped. That was until I started to notice my skin was getting paler as the days went by.
Rightfully concerned about my health, my parents insisted I pause on BrownStyle and find out what was causing me to not feel well. (Note: Trust your loved ones, especially your parents and siblings. If they are concerned about you, trust their judgment. I am happy I did because I may not have been able to share my story with you.)
The last straw was when I became dizzy and nearly fainted in the kitchen while getting a cup of ice, which was an increased craving in recent months.
As they rolled me into the emergency room via a wheelchair, I couldn’t help but worry about rescheduling my meetings, notifying my team, and ensuring deadlines were met. (Typical entrepreneur mindset, iykyk.)
When my name was called, the ER nurse began my initial intake. “You look extremely pale,” he noted while examining my eyes, nails, and skin. After confirming my vitals were good, but my heart rate was elevated, I was sent back into the waiting room before being called immediately. Up until that moment, I thought everything was okay. The sense of urgency from the doctors changed that.
In the ER, I was further questioned by several doctors about my symptoms. I explained my experience, sharing that I was having an extremely irregular period with heavy bleeding.
Concerned about my “hemoglobin level” and hopeful to get additional insight, a nurse drew my blood to check my iron and red blood count.
Next, I was placed on a hospital bed and wheeled into another room for an X-ray of my chest.
As the nurse assisted me in standing, he asked if I thought I could stand if I held onto the hand grips on the machine. Slightly delirious, I nodded yes. The next thing I remember, I woke up looking at the hospital ceiling and feeling the cold, hard cement hospital floor under my back. According to the nurse, I fainted seconds after I stood up. Thankfully, he said he caught me before I hit my head on the concrete floor.
As another nurse assisted him in lifting me, I felt disoriented. Was I that exhausted?
The Moment I Was Told About My Iron-Deficiency Anemia
Returning to my ER room where my parents waited anxiously, I was met by doctors. According to the team of experts, my bloodwork was back, and it was alarming. My hemoglobin was at a 3. To put that into perspective, a healthy woman’s hemoglobin is typically at 12-14.
In a voice of urgency, the doctors revealed that my heart was working overtime due to a lack of oxygen pumping through my red blood cells. Simply put, my body was working overtime, and I was at risk of damaging my heart.
The proposed solution? An emergency blood transfusion due to iron-deficiency anemia.
[According to HealthGrades, “Your body needs iron to make a protein called hemoglobin that’s found in your red blood cells. Hemoglobin is responsible for transporting oxygen from your lungs to the tissues of your body. Without enough iron, your hemoglobin levels can drop, leading to a condition called iron-deficiency anemia […] Because less oxygen is being carried in your blood, your heart has to pump harder to deliver oxygen to the cells in your body. This can lead to an irregular heartbeat or even heart failure.”]
Why I Advocate For Anemia Awareness
I’ve always known about my iron-deficiency, but I never knew that it was so serious. I shudder at all the times I opted to skip my iron pills because they made me queasy and all the times I ignored the feelings of exhaustion, especially during my time of the month. I never knew that iron-deficiency anemia could lead to serious health problems if undiagnosed or untreated.
As I received several pints of blood and iron IVs in the ICU of the hospital, I couldn’t help but think about all the women whom I know and care about who express symptoms of anemia, but don’t realize how at risk they are from life-threatening health issues. Why are more conversations not being had about the true dangers of anemia, especially when it comes to women of color?
According to Healthgrades, although the World Health Organization (WHO) says it affects over two billion people worldwide, women of color are two to three times more likely to face low iron levels and iron-deficiency anemia.
Some of the symptoms of low iron include fatigue, pale skin, cold extremities, fast heartbeat, dizziness, weakness, shortness of breath, restless leg syndrome, and Pica (a desire to eat things with no nutritional value like ice).
In my opinion, this is exactly why there should be more awareness about iron and iron-deficiency anemia in our communities. It can be the matter of life and death.
My Next Chapter In Soft Living: Health & Wellness
While there are national holidays, more women should have conversations about their energy levels with their doctors and have their blood checked when they don’t feel like themselves.
To recover after my extended hospital stay, I’ve been very intentional about slowing down and researching everything I can find about anemia and diets that can help boost iron. I’ve leaned into eating more fresh vegetables— especially those high in iron, like spinach, kale, and beets. I’ve also added more meals with red meat and shellfish, which has been helpful.
Iron pills have also been added to my daily routine. Thanks to the suggestion of a lovely BrownStyle contributor, I’ve added Iron Blood Builder (Buy on Amazon) to my routine. It’s a little too early to say if it’s working, but I do notice a boost in my energy level thanks to the blend of iron, B12, and vitamin C.
I’ve had several doctor appointments to check on my blood. When I left the hospital, my hemoglobin was at 8.1. At my last check-up, I was at a 9.1. That jump is equivalent to one pint of blood.
Unfortunately, a blood clot in a superficial vein in my arm left me unable to work for two weeks, but chile, that’s a story for another day. Although I am still on the road to recovery, I feel empowered now that I know what I need to feel like my best self.
I am beyond thankful to my BrownStyle team, who held down the fort as I healed. Thank you to my family, who were by my side at all times during the scary situation. Thank you to my doctors and nurses who went above and beyond to ensure I felt in the know about my health. And all the wonderful people who wished me well, called, sent flowers, offered help, and showed love. You are all appreciated!
A Gentle Reminder
Sometimes it takes a hard nudge to make you realize you need to be softer on yourself. And it doesn’t hurt to trust that your tribe will have your back when you need it most. That is exactly why SOULful Soft Living consists of self-care, opulence, unity, and love.
I’ve also learned through this process to give myself more grace and trust my body the first time it’s waving a red flag. Red flags can sometimes be ignored when you are moving fast. Hence, the importance of living a soulful soft life.
I’m happy to say I’m feeling great, catching up on my to-do list, and finding yet another confirmation that living a soft life is not only good for your mental health, but your overall body.
I will also make it a point to be an advocate for women with anemia to get regular blood work to ensure they don’t go through my experience.
And remember: when your body says pause, you pause.
Editor’s Note: This story has been edited and condensed for clarity.
By BrownStyle Magazine in Special Editions
72 pages, published 1/17/2025
